the swalwell conection

the swalwell conection
northumbria police have sent their top man michael armstrong aka officer dibble to new york to liase with new yorks finest to try and break the swalwell connection-after catching alfonso clark in the act after he had run down an underword grass in a milk float stolen from tommy steele he was in the process of hitting the s**t out of him with 1 of tommys chocalate swiss rolls.the mob have sent mal 'rubber neck' malaney to america to silence dibble-as alfonso was in cohoots with 'bugsy siegel' and vito genovesse the black marketeers in rare pigeons.
turns out serbian warlord ray jackson may be using his cricket allotment to bury members of the underwold under the strip-local pigeon godfather alan 'sammy the goat' todd is buried there as hes hasnt been seen at swalwell cc in ages.ray woke this morning to find a sarah lee apple pie at the end of his bed -a classic warning sign from the mob.the hit has been ordered by guy 'chico' briggs and his father jack 'pastel shades' briggs .-who are also wanted by the european criminal board in straussberg for horrific crimes against fashion.
anyhow time for qwerty to lay low as stu 'grippa' pattison has put a hit out on me so i could soon be laying in chalk.gona get protection from the boys from the emerald isle can you here me ernie jones!
you mad bas****
toodle ooh for now your friend jonathan batie n zahir aslam
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