swalwell pro out 4 season

swalwells nicky philips is today starting another lenghty spell.unfortunately he wont be mesmerising batsmen it is a spell behind bars.During a lunch break he went to just sport to buy a new jock strap.Whilst walkin past the monument he was being hassled for loose change by one legged down n out accordian player.After many brush offs nicky lost it and the red mist decended.Falling back on his special forces training,in one fell swoop he had garoted the unlucky chap with his own accordian.......a lengthy stint awaits him.

stu pattinson.......arman ( character from robin williams film "the bird cage"
michael armstrong.........ba baracuss
j.dummigham.......pepe reina

not only are swalwell players dropping like flies so are the supporters.Big stu pattison will have to watch the remainder of the season through one eye.Whilst holding his regular sunday nite quiz at saltwell social club last week a disgruntled paticipant was unhappy at one of the answers in the music round.The answer was the stylistics but the player was convinced it was lonni gordon and so threw his half of cherry cola laced with moldovan vodka at big stu temporarily blinding him in his left eye for 12 weeks.